i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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