why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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What's worse then biting into a apple and finding a worm? I can't think of anything worse.

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So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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apple pie.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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Winking at old people

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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