how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

your moms so fat she has kankles

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops