why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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You idiot thats 9 letters

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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