Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

knock knock Dave's not here.

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

Wanna hear a joke? no

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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