Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

Knock knock. Who's there You are.

hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

i killed my family

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

what kind of dog can tiptoe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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