Your Mom

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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THe Election

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops