A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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