What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

01101110 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100101 01101110 translate here http://binarytranslator.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops