How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A man is traveling to the nearest grocery store. He stops at an intersection and notices a another car beside him. It was a black corvet. So he blew it up and the men inside of it as well. He then proceeded to call the cops as to try to cover the explosion up as if it was not his fault. Unfortunately, the police had video evidence of the incident through video surveillance and the man was arrested for life. He never got a second chance in life and eventually died a slow, painful death in the hands of cancer at the age of 91.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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