Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

A woman is carried out of a bar.

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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