What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Justin Bieber

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Q. Why did the 8 year girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I have no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops