Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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knock,knock you suck

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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