A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops