A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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