What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

How tall is oprah.. 5'7

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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