I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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A British man walks into a dentist's office.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why can't february march Because april may

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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