I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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