- Anti Joke

What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

PENIS

What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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