Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops