roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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What is 9+10? 19

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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