I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

Whats the defination of cruelty

Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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