Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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69

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FIONN'S LIFE

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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