A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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