Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Women drivers...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops