Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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