What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Why did Obama cross the road? Oh, wait, he didn't make it.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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