What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Ol-ive

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops