Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Whats worse than 4 dead babies in a bucket? finding an actual joke on Anti Joke.

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What would u like to drink?

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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