What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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a

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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