I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

what do you call two mexicans playing basketball? juan on juan

why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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