What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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