roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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A van drives into a car.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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WILLYS

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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