A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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