A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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