What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Obama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Who's cooler than Ellie?? Turtleman hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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I have a horse.

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Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops