A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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