Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are flowers, And daisies are too.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

Who is big and stupid My brother

Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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