How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

Why did the man die? He was old.

Women

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

This is not a joke.

what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

What stops a train? A missile

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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