Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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hey hey apple

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops