What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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