What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

#IHateHashtags

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops