John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Hey! That's mine! Give it back!

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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