What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops