What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Tall asians

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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