What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Here come the elephants over the hill!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Adam Chebali has no life

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there Boo Boo who DONT BE SUCH A PUS*Y

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops