A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Read a Book.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops