Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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