Want to hear a joke? Obama

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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non poop

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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