A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

69

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the zebra cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops