A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

HEY YOU! TISSUE!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

thumb_up thumb_down -19

lol

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

John lazzaro likes dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops