Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What is worse than stubbing your toe. Being shot

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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