what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

Knock Knock No solicitors

Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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